Don’t be fooled by this personals ad. If you’ll read a little further, you’ll see that it’s actually a housewares ad. Okay, we don’t buy it either.
I’m just another busy person always on the go. I recently moved to a new place and bought a fantastic bed that I love. While so caught up in my day to day life, I have not had time to develop a romantic relationship lately. But when I come home at the end of the day and get in bed, it feels very empty.
I have thus decided to take applications for a bed-filler.
This is NOT a sex thing. If anything, it might be more appropriate to post this in the housewares section… but anyways.
-35years old, straight single male
-5’10”, black hair, brown eyes, Med. build
-often restless/occupied when I get in bed; in need of soothing, relaxation
-1 King bed, located in nice room in nice suite.
-2 new pillows for sleeping – none of those annoying throw pillows
-1 brown fleece blanket decorated with white squares (don’t ask)
-room temperature kept cool as to facilitate snuggling (see below)
-one straight, single woman
-between the ages of 18 and 37 years old
-minimum 5 feet tall, 5’5” is better, 5’9” is most desireable and also the maximum height sought.
-must practice good hygiene, smell pleasant and have soft skin.
-piercings and tattoos to be considered on individual basis
-must enthusiastically cuddle, snuggle and spoon me
-must NOT scratch herself excessively in the morning.
-must limit alcohol intake to 2 beers on any night she is acting as bed-filler
-must seek medical consul if she consistently snores when not drunk, sick
-should occasionally play with my hair
What the successful applicant receives:
-the satisfaction of helping me sleep better
-sleeping with a guy who always smells nice
-free massages ( just a gift I have)
Applicants who can demonstrate ESP skills, thus knowing which nights and at what times I need my bed-filler without my explicit request, will be given priority in the short listing phase. Amusing and/or insightful pillow talk may be rewarded with kisses or sex(to be decided at the discretion of the bed-filler). Please send pic.
Thanks and good luck!
Photo by jamesjyu.
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