In Light Of Recent Football Events… [Gems From The Nashville Craigslist]

Note to readers: If the pain of the Titans’ most recent loss is too fresh in your mind to make light of the situation (really, what else can we do?), we recommend skipping this Gem From The Nashville Craigslist. [Thanks to the lovely GingerSnaps for the find!]

JOBS: Professional Football Coach, Staff & Players (Nashville)

We’re scrapping the whole team after today so anyone with any skills, intelligence, play-calling ability or motivational talents please apply quickly. Our season may be over, but our schedule is not. Cheerleaders with football knowledge will be considered. Apply in person at LP Field Monday morning 8am.

NOTE: It has been suggested that we can begin recruiting at the preschool age so that they can play by age 5 and therefore we may stand a better chance of winning a game. It has been proven that the local Murfreesboro and Nashville peewee players show much more promise at holding on to the ball when enticed with promises of candy after a successful game perhaps the older players could be persuaded with similar incentives. It has also been suggested that the list of eligible players be amended to include the local school for deaf and blind (no offense here, by any means). This will certainly be considered since deaf children are more apt not to be distracted by the loud noises (booing, etc) on game day and blind children wont be distracted by scantilly clad cheerleaders. More suggestions welcome…

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