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Tag Archives: turtle man

Happy Hour: Here We Go Again

Some coal miners are calling for a boycott of Pigeon Forge and telling people that West Virginia and Kentucky are more desirable destinations because they endorse mountaintop removal. But seriously, have these people ever SEEN Turtle Man? [Pith In The Wind] Walmart has put the kibosh on those shiny Metro recycling bins that are currently [...]

Bright & Early: In Which We Get Hip Edition

Good morning, Nashville. Today marks an important milestone in the history of our fair city’s quest to become legit: Today, Urban Outfitters is finally, FINALLY having its grand opening shindig. Now if we could somehow get an H&M and an Ikea and build the highest skyscraper in the Southeast, we would never have to go [...]

Turtle Man: Friends Don’t Let Friends Go To Kentucky

Once upon a time, there was a guy from Kentucky who was really passionate about snapping turtles. He swam in the lake day in and day out and wrassled them out of the mud, howling gleefully with each catch as he flung it to the shore. He didn’t smile because he had no teeth. He [...]